If you have any friends who go to Oxbridge, you should have a look at their blogs. You can see a difference in the way they write and what they write about after they’ve started uni. And the difference isn’t subtle at all. Which makes it even sadder, I suppose.
The thing is, before they go to Oxbridge, their posts are mostly fresh, witty and describe a whole variety of things that are happening to them. But after entering the two greatest schools in the world, their writing becomes tired and mechanical and always underlined by the same thread.
I should be working.
Basically, if you even halfway care about your work, work becomes a constant preoccupation. No matter what else is happening to you: drunken night out, fencing competition, your birthday, etc., there is always that horrible thought at the back of your head.
I should be working.
And I’ve also felt that after having to write so many 2000 word essays that need to be well-organised and technical, all the art has been sucked out of my soul. I don’t feel like writing AT ALL. Which is why weeds have grown over and covered the tombstone of my blog. I honestly wish for more thoughts to fill my head. Please. Any other thought that the neverending recurring theme:
I should be working.
Well, it’s my fault I suppose. Coming to Cambridge is a lifestyle choice. I knew what I was getting into. I wanted to get into it, so badly. But the downside is that work becomes such an integrated part of your lifestyle that you HAVE to think about it on a constant basis. It’s like being gay. You’ve come out and you have to admit to yourself that you can’t help it.
I really should be working. Watch me now as I inelegantly end this post and go back to my essay on globalisation and the death of the nation state.
