Eaeu de Beng

I know a lot of guys who are operating under the mistaken impression that women like the smell of cologne, the stronger the better. There was a maths teacher in my primary school who would warn his rowdy class of his approaching presence by his smell. I have walked into air-conditioned classrooms in vjc and felt like I got whacked in the face by the very powderful Mr Hugo Boss. I thought that nothing could get worse than guys I’ve already encountered so far. Ha ha.

Yesterday I went to the national library to do research for my papers. The psychology section sucks and runs under the assumption that Freud is the only psychoanalyst in existence but the lit section is not bad. So I was walking to the borrowing machines and passed the computer jargon section when I saw a great empty space in an otherwise packed library. Stupidly, I just carried on without heeding the warning signs around me, like ah mas taking out their handkerchiefs and covering their noses.

Suddenly, I crossed the event horizon and transitioned from walking in the non-fiction section of the NLB to swimming in a giant bottle of men’s perfume. I couldn’t tell what direction it was coming from because the smell was all around me, but the closes guy was this hulking Beng. Not like the luvis kind of beng (incidentally, it seems people keep searching for him on my blog) but the really Atap “the Emasculator” Chee kind of Beng. Evidently trying to keep up with the latest fashion of course. Striped brown and yellow polo shirt, berms, Bring (beng version of bling, because have diamond, but exchange to yellow gold)

I wanted to fall over. I wanted to call Hazmat. Wah freaking lao. Next week people will wonder why all the chinese comics smell like their uncle. If LTA likes to license everything so much, they should make it compulsory for everybody to get one before buying cologne. Must pass theory, and conduct practical in an airtight room with the examiner wearing heavy duty gas mask never seen since WW1.